Das Jahr in Zitaten (mit Jamie Oliver und Todesdrohung)

Ha, verarscht! Wer mich kennt, weiß natürlich, dass ich Jamie Oliver für einen überprivilegierten Arschkrapfen halte. Deswegen zitiere ich ihn hier auch nicht, weil: Soweit kommert’s noch. 

Da ich euch aber nicht umsonst hierhergelockt haben möchte, habe ich hier eine Spam-Mail, die ich diese Woche bekommen habe:

You can RUN but can never HIDE

Hello am  i am a professional hired killer
   You don’t know me but I know you
   Because i am paid to kill you, your daughters and your boys

   Everything about you I have been told this is
   What I do for a living

   There is only one way you can help yourself if you want to live again  That
   is why am WRITING you

   Note: this do not involve the police
   or let any one know about this, If you do I have no choice but kill you
   Don’t be surprise why am letting you know
   I want to help you if you will co-operate with me
   Contact my email if you want to live

   But if you don’t have respect 4 life, be prepare to dance to the music
   of the dead. I am very sorry for you , It is a pity that this is how
   your life is going to end as soon as you don’t comply. As you can see
   there is no need for me introducing myself to you because I don’t have
   any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to
   (KILL YOU ) and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.

   Someone you call a Friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person
   have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to me
   and told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with
   your name , picture and other necessary information we needed about
   you.  So I have sent my men to track you down in Location and they
   have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation
   on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I
   will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or
   not. Since we have find out that you are innocent.

   I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I
   didn’t tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I
   am using it to contact you now.  As I am writing to you now my men are
   monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.

   Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As someone has paid us to kill you.
   Get back to me immediately when you get this mail.

   WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE,

    OR ELSE  I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, IN CASE I NOTICE SOMETHING
   FUNNY.  GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY

   Lucky You

   You can RUN but can never HIDE

 

Dieses „Hello am  i am a professional hired killer“ überzeugt mich ja besonders.

Wer also mal einen Profikiller braucht (vermutlich nicht besonders gut, dafür bestimmt recht günstig), der wende sich an donkalokiller at gmail dot com.

 

 

Ein Gedanke zu „Das Jahr in Zitaten (mit Jamie Oliver und Todesdrohung)

  1. Dein Postfach ist wirklich ein Auffangbecken für die merkwürdigsten Spamschätze dieser Welt. Aber ich glaube ich habe schon von dem Ganoven Don Kalo gehört – Bundeslandmäßig kann er ja nicht aus dem Frankenland sein, bei dieser Abstinenz von konsonantem Mittel-R. Anyway … keep on KILLING some time …

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